As any parents (especially first time parents) know, the challenges of bringing a child into this world are myriad. There are many emotions and questions once you find out you are going to have a child, and this is before the advent of pregnancy has even begun.
For my wife and I the news was out of this world and the perfect ending to an amazing 18 months which had seen us married and proud first time home owners. After the initial “happy” shock had worn off we then started to ask the usual questions such as can we do this, can we afford this, what is going to happen with work, are we going to make good parents, on top of the obvious will it be a boy or a girl!! My wife and I are both shift workers (my wife is a paramedic) and we work often long and unsociable hours so the prospect of having a child also posed many questions regarding our life style. For myself (and I’m sure for most expectant fathers) there is only so much you can do above hopefully being a supportive partner. I was fortunate enough that my wife arranged all of her OB appointments around my schedule so that I could attend and feel included. As far as names, showers etc there was little or no affect on my job and we were very fortunate that my wife had a great pregnancy with little or no issues. The fun really didn’t start until the birth!!!
Once I returned to work my wife and I found new challenges and struggles that we had to adjust to. As all new parents know, being perpetually tired through lack of sleep is something we know to expect. Working late nights I was able to take the “graveyard shift” some nights when our son was bottle feeding to try and give my wife a grace period of sleep. This didn’t last too long however, as my wife opted to breastfeed (hence making my feeding obsolete!!) and then we were blessed with our son often sleeping mostly through the night. That being said the mornings of lying in bed after a late night at work are now a thing of the past as my son isn’t quite aware of when I get home from work! And it is only fair that if my wife is awake to feed then I can at least change him or play with him in the morning hours. Other than two of my shifts, most of my shifts start later in the day which gives me time to spend time with my wife and son prior to starting work. Again this isn’t an opportunity many working fathers get. My schedule is also flexible to a degree that I can still mange to participate in a lot of his firsts and I have been blessed to see some of his early development and achievements.
For the majority of the working population the weekend is when most family and social gatherings occur, so unfortunately you miss certain events. You hope that there is room within the schedule to work around certain “big” firsts such as birthdays, Christmas etc but this all falls at the behest of the employer. For myself, my employers place a big emphasis on family so thus far I have been very thankful that I have been able to attend most family events. Moving forward the next big challenge will be daycare and who is going to be the prominent provider in child care for our son once my wife returns to work. Family, friends and employers all play an important role in this and unfortunately for many people working in hospitality there isn’t much in place for daycare provisions through work so you have to rely on family and friends.
As my Grandmother told me (god bless her still with us) it is one thing to have a child and another to raise a child. I hope the values and experiences I have found during my life both personal and in the workplace will help me be the father I want to be so that I may raise my son with all the opportunities and more than I was given as a child. My son Charlie has already achieved a celebrity status within our restaurant and I’m sure will continue to be an integral part of my job as my values and decision making will evolve based on my responsibility of being a father.
Gavin Thomson
Hospitality Coordination Officer
Jawny Bakers Restaurant
